This is a super wee hour blog post and yes, I wrote this post a week ago and decided that I would like to share it with you. In this way, I get 1 week to think about my thoughts on this blog post and to see if I am really ready to share this with you. And by the time you manage to read this post, you would have known by now that yes, I have decided to open up and tell you whats on my mind. I would warn you first because this post is very personal to me and I am not sure how much you would like to know about myself but I am willing to try to open up a little more.
Tonight at a girlfriends house, I had 3 cards infront of me. One particular one was named 'Elizabeth and the Lion' and I was very intrigued.
While deciphering what this gorgeous card was trying to tell me, the sentence below 'Elizabeth and the Lion' was so strong and powerful.
'It is time to be a great leader'
This definitely caught me off guard! The message from a simple card was so powerful till I cannot sleep. While reading what this message meant, I was so overwhelmed and had a lot of flashbacks on the past 8 years running this business. I had so many ridicules, mockery from others on how I run my business, how meek I am, how weak and how dare I call myself as one of the leaders in the local plus size industry. I was pushed aside and couldnt make a point, I was told to stand aside and watch how the others perform while I silently take it all in even when the company was being ridiculed and slandered as 'Money Making Machine'. I have grown since then naturally and somehow I overcame each ridicule and treated them as stones for me to step on to be higher than the rest. I have always been the one with 'no voice' although most of you know I am the sincere one who tries her best to work on giving her best. I am now much more mature as day by day I find my 'voice' and is totally at peace with myself. I do get hiccups often (still) but I definitely has handled them better and better. The 'noises' are now much softer and weaker and I no longer am too bothered by them. But this message sent to me and telling me to be a great leader is something I am not ready of. I was asked before I left the house 'The message is clear, and now the question is 'Are you ready to take on this role?' I couldnt answer and all I replied was; 'Something to think about, let me think about it'
I really do not know if I am ever able to be THE ONE trailblazer for my community and I am definitely unsure about me being able to even be part of one. But I know deep down, I know I have to. It is because 8 years ago, I decided to take a leap of faith and I took this amazing ride to be part of this plus size industry and I work very hard to where I am today. And as time passed, I found myself so involved in my business and I am sincerely concern about you and I am serious about making you a better and more confident person through my designs. I love the idea and am so proud of you calling to tell me your good news, you coming to me and tell me how much I have brightened your life, that how much I have solved your problems. I also love it when you trust me with your fears and concerns, your sorrows and even cry to me. I really am very grateful for the trust bestowed upon me and believed in me. But seriously, to be a great leader? Woah, I do not know man!
I will seriously think about what message the card truly want to convey to me and indeed it hit my straight to the heart.
Will I ever be Elizabeth and the Lion? Will I ever be one?
After consideration, I decided to ask my dearest wisest friend on what the card was trying to tell me. After an in-depth discussion, I was thrown a question as to what I should do in order to be good enough and be a true leader and lead these plus size ladies. Indeed there will be hurdles along the way and it is not going to be easy especially when i have too much on my plate right now. It is going to be a tough jurney and quote from her 'it's a matter of finding that right balance' and doing it right when the time arrives. She also mentioned that as much as is 'sounds cliche but everything happens for a reason and now you know who are the friends you can rely on' Indeed it is true, I have been so blessed with so many wonderful people whom I know can be depended on and give me 100% should I ever need help. Naturally I will be scared right, because I am only just a 'Kayde' and not someone who possess great powers. I have so much fear in me till I rather shut it out than to take a step forward and test my boundaries.
Its been days since I last wrote this post (yup, this post has been editted a couple of times) and I am STILL pondering over what I can be. Will I be able to be like Elizabeth and the Lion? Should I even try to be one? After serious thoughts about it, I made the executive decision to at least give it a shot. I honestly dont know tonight on how this will turn out, but I am willing to explore to find out. Because only through taking this first step will then I know if I can be a true Elizabeth and the Lion... Will you be with me and stay with me, go through this journey with me till I become one? I am unsure of this myself, but I am more than willing to welcome you on board and ride with me...
XOXO
Kayde
I am Kayde and I am a Plus Size Blogger
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