in 2013, all I want is to love myself...

Finally!! After working non stop for the shop, I am finally able to sit in front of my laptop and can do a decent blog. Before I start my blog post, I would like to thank my dearest Juliah for staying strong and healthy in the shop, mending the shop. Without her, I really could not accomplish so much and provide more goodies for our customers.

Now, 2013 slipped in really quickly this time as we have been too busy preparing stocks for customers almost everyday. We are almost replenishing new designs almost daily as many items sold out quickly. I am very grateful for a wonderful team including the factory and trusting suppliers who help me get by this peak season. PHEW! God has certainly been very sweet to KAYLENE!

On the 31st dec, Mr Ling and I went for a gathering for a mini birthday celebration, I was so happy that I could pull away from work for just a couple of hours and get to fill up my champange flute with rounds of moscato and zibibo... yumsy yumsy! Then one buddy popped the most asked question on every last day of the year and that was 'What is your new years resolution?' Well I was not spared from this question but I couldnt really answer. Hence, being a business woman, I plainly replied ' I wanna make more $$' Typical eh?

But deep down, I know that is not what I really want for 2013. I really couldnt answer myself at all. Mr Ling asked me later on when we were home and I still could not answer that question. It was only today, late afternoon I had flashbacks and images of myself when I was a size 10-12 and alot of emotions, humiliation, pains kept coming through my mind. I needed to know why I was so affected by the past...

The truth is, I am not physically well. I was told by doctorSSSS that my hormone are imbalanced and stress added to my weight gain. One doctor told me flatly that regardless how I try to diet, it will not work. All because my hormones are sort of a mess, haywire. In order for my weight to go back on track, I need to get my hormones back to normal. :) simple as that..

I then started to think of people surrounding me, wishing that I will be slimmer, wishing that I will exercise more and more importantly wishing that I can be their ideal role may it be daughter, friend or partner (ok la, to be fair, Mr Ling has never judged me this way as he knows my condition) The next thing I knew I got angry with myself, with my body on why of all people it has to be me etc.. I wish I could tell each and everyone my situation and explain to them. But seriously, do you really think it is that easy? no right??

So there, after the flashbacks and all the hoo-hahs on my mind, I decided that I will let go of my past and accept my body for how God has created me to be. I decided that in the year 2013 and there after, I will love myself by forgiviing my body (bad hormones) and weak mind (for thinking negative things) Only by doing so then I will truly be happy. I have been doing that in the recent months to be honest but i think I have never really gotten down to engrave it permenantly onto my puny brain. On top of that, as encouraged by Karen Foo (one of my dearest friend) I wanna concentrate on the love I have received from customers, friends, family and returning it back to them 100%. I told myself that as long as I am happy, healthy and a 100% honest Kayde, I dont really need to explain to any one at all.

So now you know my new years resolution. Have you made yours already? You are still not too late! I hope you will dunk the grieve and frustration in you and truly set goals and make effort to love yourself.

HAPPY 2013 girlies!

Love
K